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Welcome to Adopt Haiti

Adopting a child from Haiti presents unique challenges. The children living in Port au Prince survived a tragedy that can present problematic behavioral issues. Bryan Post offers advice and training to help you build the loving family you desire.

Away We Go

As the tragedy struck Haiti and we began to realize the magnitude of the lives lost and the children that had quickly become orphans various teams and adoption agencies began to mobilize to rescue the children. I am aware of at least one agency that brought 30 children to the United States with plans for adoption. And plans are being made for rescuing other children.

I commend these efforts. I know that the best I can personally do at this time is make donations and offer my expertise when consulted, yet I do have concerns. One of the most fast acting systems we have for rescuing endangered children is the Child Protective Services/ Foster Care system. We need to learn from that disaster. Well intentioned adults rushing in to rescue traumatized children only to end up causing many of those same children much more pain and grief than they would have experienced by never having been rescued at all.

As we go rushing away to rescue the Haitian orphans we need to slow down and ask the tough questions: Are we really prepared to deal with the trauma these children have experienced? Are we willing to go through the stress of helping them heal as they become depressed, act out, shut down, or run away? Are we doing this with full consciousness of what is required? Do we have the emotional space to provide a healing, therapeutic environment?

I recently agreed to bring an 18 year old young man into our home for a short period of time to help him get on his feet after being locked away in residential treatment for two years. He is someone I have become familiar with over the past year. He has a lot of potential but will need much guidance. My first response to the request was, “I don’t know if I can do it. I’m not sure I have the emotional space”. It wasn’t that I don’t have the time, the money, or the room. My response came from knowing my own emotional limits. As I sat with the thought for a while and Kristi and I discussed it, I had to process and honor my own emotional limitations.

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On Grief

I had decided on grief as the topic of this month’s journal before the earthquake hit Haiti. Now it seems more imperative than ever that we spend time discussing and processing the importance of this very important yet painful topic.

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Attachment and Adoption with Haitian Children

Listen to a special interview with Bryan Post regarding Attachment and Adoption of Haitian Children.

How to Validate Your Child's Emotions

Because I have been working with children, families, and emotion for so long I forget how enormous our conditioning can be. So many of us grew up in homes where emotions were absent: Mom or dad were depressed, weren’t there, or didn’t care; homes where emotion was controlled and suppressed: everybody acted happy though they were typically depressed or lonely, blasé, blasé, going through the motions, when there was upset it was talked down or soothed to go away; Or in homes where emotion was out of control: screaming parents, out of control raging, verbal abuse and shaming. Sometimes a combination of all three. This leaves most of us now as parents unsure of what to do when emotions are expressed. When kids are are angry they can only express it in a certain safe way or not all, and when they are sad we try to soothe their feelings away or ignore them. When they are bored, we try to fix it or do nothing. When they are depressed, we try to make them feel better or shut down on them. Does that sound confusing and overwhelming to you?

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Listen to Bryan

Listen to Byran Post dicuss the challenges and rewards of adopting children from outside the United States.